Ramblings and rants about the amusing, stupid things that happen to me in and around Cincinnati.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Done Ranting Now, Let's Talk About Scooters

I love my scooter. Even if the Chinese workers screwed up my bolts and the exhaust almost fell off and put a hole in the muffler. Yeah, it's covered under the warranty and a new exhaust is ordered, but, I love the way it sounds now! It sounds like an evil bike.

I hit my first 1,000 kilometers tonight. That is about 620 miles. And, I rode all of that in less than a month. I love this lifestyle. Plus, how many of you can fill up your tank for $3.00? Fuck you W. (One last dig and then I'll shut up, at least for tonight).

Sunday, we did an awesome ride. There were about 10 of us and we went down KY 8. Part of the road is closed, but we rode through it anyway. After we got out of that mess, Doc Bob had a tire blow out at 60 mph. He claims he had brown spots in his "breeches." Can't blame him. I was right behind him when it happened and I thought he was just messing around. Scary shit. I am going to buy a full-face helmet this weekend. I don't think my little half helmet would come close to protecting my face if (and when) I take a spill. Safety first, kids.

Anyway, we rode all the way to Augusta, Kentucky, the home of the Clooney's - Rose Mary, Nick and George. George Clooney is so hot! We had lunch and beer at the Beehive Tavern and took the ferry across the river back to Ohio. Finished our ride up Ohio 52 and had more beer at Tostados, our new meeting place the first Wednesday of the month.

Too much fun! I am so happy I met these scooter freaks.

Since I'm Ranting And Raving...

I think it is time to pull this puppy out of hiding. Hee hee. Am I so going to hell?

Nice Sign

Tell Me This Isn't True

I hate fuckin' right wing, bible thumping, W. lovers so very much (sorry dad). But, this is either the worst of them all, or a brilliant parody site. Check it out and decide for yourself.

Here's the headline:


: U - S - A : (Love it or Leave it!)
This is a democ-rat free Zone!!!

So, one of my favorite comments to this person "Shelley":

"Jesus said"... Yea... those pictures are wrong. What crackhead would think i look like that? We didnt have straightening gel in Jerusalem back in my day hence the whole "Hair like sheeps wool" comment. And if you dont realize it I am much darker than that. Hello I walked everywhere but of course since I am the Son of God I am immune to tans right? WRONG! Oh for my father's sake please read a book or do something constructive with your time like colour in a colouring book because you obviously serve no purpose in life. Just wait for the rapture. I have it in my organizer as happening right after they cancel the Simpsons. How do they keep it fresh after 1 seasons?

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Those Scooter People Drive Like Ass Holes!

Wow, put 200 km (still don't know how that translates to mileage) on my scooter tonight even though my exhaust pipe is close to falling off.

We met in Covington's Main Strasse and got kicked out for parking on the sidewalk. Some ho bag Harley freak called the cops and screamed "Get those fucking scooters off the sidewalk!" We decided to wait it out and see if the cops came. The whole thing was so harmless. Eventually, a very nice female cop came and said it was against the city ordinance, even though she thought it wasn't a big deal, just has to deal with the complaint. Doc and I talked to her long enough so Seth could tighten my bolt.

By the time we finished the crazy, winding, fast ride around Northern Kentucky, my pipe was rattling again. On the way to The Comet, Doc nearly crashed again (crashed last Wednesday) by turning in front of a car.

What nut jobs, but loveable nut jobs.


Tuesday, April 18, 2006

I Feel Like Shit Today

Sunday night I slept with my window all the way open and had my fan blasting on me. Needless to say, I am sicker than a dog. I can't swallow and I think I may have a fever. Probably not though, since I've only had a fever one time in my life. I'm done whining now.

So, what else is new? I still suck at "Guitar Hero" but my little plastic guitar with five buttons sure is beautiful with all the cool stickers I've plastered on it. Looks way better than Candice and Jim's! I should practice while they're not around tonight. Maybe I can rack up tons of "Star Power" points. Unfortunately, I can't figure out how to turn the Play Station 2 on. I know I'm a fucktard.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Another Random Quote

This one rocks. From woxy.com message boards:

"Those Christians are so dang wacky! I want a religion that tells me to kneel on the son of God's face and ask for a new car."

Monday, April 10, 2006

Got My Scooter License Plate Today

I sooooo did not ask for a custom plate, but got a random one that is "69LDH." What? I didn't even notice until I got in my car. You know everybody is going to try and figure out what that means. Right? Tara and I decided it means "69 Loose Dirty Ho." I think I might even put that on my helmet just to calm all the inquisitors.


The Most Useful Firefox Extension EVA!

Yes, Abe Vigoda is still alive. It will be a sad day when his status changes.

A Good Article On The Demise Of Arrested Development

I hope I'm not violating anything by posting a whole article, but this one is excellent.

A rest for ‘Development’: Fan comes to grips
Show featured wicked wordplay, talented cast, but FOX didn’t care
Capture / Fox
Critics loved it, but for viewers, "Arrested Development" remained an acquired taste.
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By Wendell Wittler
MSNBC contributor
Updated: 2:07 p.m. ET April 7, 2006

“This is the story of a wealthy family, who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together...” These 25 words opened each episode of “Arrested Development,” giving the audience absolutely no preparation for what was to follow: a tightly woven tapestry of diverse comic elements with something to please — and alienate — almost everybody.

“Arrested” was always an acquired taste. I had the benefit of catching it from the first episode where the show hooked me with lines like “it’s not really an intervention. It’s a little bit more of an imposition.” I knew the program was never going to be a mass-appeal hit when I found myself explaining most of its best jokes to family and friends after every episode ended.

With a large talented cast playing a mismatched collection of mostly unsympathetic characters, “Arrested” was reminiscent of 1970s classic “Soap,” but without that show's reassuring narrator, famed for saying “Confused? You won’t be, after this week’s episode.” In fact, "Arrested Development's" narrator, TV icon and executive producer Ron Howard, served as an extra character, setting up some gags, paying off others and ending each episode with a “preview” of scenes that may or may not ever show up on a future show. Confused? You will be.
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The Wild

“Arrested” was filled with wicked wordplay and painful puns. Buster Bluth, after years of dealing with domineering mother Lucille, got his hand bit off by a “loose seal.” Oddly named Maeby created a fictitious alter ego she named Shirley (“Surely?”). The show was jammed with pop culture references, including Henry Winkler, who played the family lawyer, hopping over a dead shark. ("Jump the shark" much, Fonz?) Risque double-entendres abounded, too, many of which were brother-in-law Tobias’ Freudian slippage: his past work as a psychological analyst and therapist he brainlessly abbreviated to “analrapist.”

While other so-called edgy comedies shoot for shock value (I’m looking at you, “Family Guy”), “Arrested” reveled in an atmosphere of creepiness, including painful sexual tension between teenage cousins, and plot turns such as Michael the Good Son never noticing that his love interest (guest Charlize Theron) was mentally retarded. The show frequently included outbursts of bleeped profanity, yet viewers knew the show wouldn’t have been as funny on a cable channel without the bleeps.

Finale beaten by ‘Smackdown,’ ‘Reba’
The FOX network actually gave much more support to “Arrested” than to many other highly regarded shows (“Firefly,” “Wonderfalls,” “The Tick”). For a while it had the coveted timeslot after “The Simpsons,” but neither that nor a fistful of Emmys ever boosted its audience much over 6 million (great for most of TV, but fourth place against ABC, NBC and CBS).

So FOX slowly reverted to its usual habits, pre-empting the show during the ratings sweeps, cutting the second season from 22 to 18 episodes, and moving it to Monday for the fall of 2005. There, its audience shrunk by a third, the third season was cut to 13 shows, and last-minute schedule changes left angry fans with a half-hour of “Prison Break” on their TiVos. Meanwhile, DVDs of the show were best sellers, even with the shorter second season priced the same as the first.

FOX finally stopped pretending to care, airing the final four episodes opposite the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics and changing announcements from “Season Finale” to “Finale” midway through the broadcast.

The show's last hurrah on Feb. 9 pulled in fewer than 3 million viewers, far behind the Olympics, behind “WWE Smackdown,” even behind “Reba.” Apparently, much of the show’s so-called loyal fan base had decided to wait for the season 3 DVDs and instead tune in to the Final Four.

I wouldn’t want to spoil the ending for them, but it turns out George Sr. was duped by the CIA into building the houses in Iraq, Maeby really was Lindsey’s natural daughter but it was Lindsey who was adopted, and Korean kid Annyong was the grandson of the inventor of the Frozen Banana whom the Bluths ripped off years ago, while Michael finally realizes that loyalty to family wasn’t so important so he leaves with George Michael for Mexico, and, in the only real cliffhanger, Buster ends up in the water facing the same seal that bit off his hand. And as a postscript, Maeby tries to sell the family’s story to a big-name producer — Ron Howard.

Maybe it was time for the show to bow out, after all. Where would we go from here? How could Michael return to his family without turning from long-suffering and loyal to a simple glutton for punishment? And what would be funny about George Michael and Maeby in a normal teenage relationship? No, “Arrested Development” has developed as far as it can, and I can accept that, let go and look forward to new shows from the people responsible. Still, there’s a Pismo Beach motel called the Blue Seal I pass frequently, and it always makes me think “Ah yes, Lucille.”

Wendell Wittler is the online alias of a writer from Southern California.
© 2006 MSNBC Interactive

I will miss this show so much! At least we got a few last episodes which wrapped it up nicely.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Scored A Nice Hat Last Night

Unfortunately, I had to heckle the Sam Adams rep at the beer club meeting. Sorry dude, but you were rambling on for way too long.

Anyway, thanks. I need it to cover my helmet head.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

I Survived

The Rally was too much fun. I met a hell of a lot of people and can't wait to hang with you guys on a regular basis. My scooter cherry was popped. Plus, I rode in the rain today.

Here's an article that was in the Cincinnati Enquirer today. Pretty lame, but whatever.