Ramblings and rants about the amusing, stupid things that happen to me in and around Cincinnati.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Working Tonight

Had cocktail hour with Jack and Jenny. Jenny and I went to Donato's to watch our sweet girls work their asses off and we ordered pizza. Holy shit! That place was slammed. I've never seen so many teenagers work their butts off (although Candice and Sara aren't teenagers).

Went back to their house and hung out. I love you guys! Jack, thanks for your little conversation you had with me. I know where you're coming from. Things will be different in the very near future (I promise). Quit worrying about me already. I've had a very bad year or two, but I'm getting over it. Soon I will be completely functional. I just had to take a time out from reality. But, it is now time for me to step it up and become responsible again. I know this, but thank you for being honest with me. I love you man.

I feel like I'm so close to making into the big time here in the Internet world. Actually, I know I'm going to make it and eventually, I can do my stuff full time. Yup, that means working half days for myself and bringing in the BIG bucks.

I need to set my kids up for the future just like my mother did (unfortunately, I have to split it five ways). When I go, it will only have to be split two ways. I just want to leave a bunch of cash and a legacy behind for Nick and Candice.

Wish me luck, OK? I honestly think I'm on the verge of something really huge. I hope it's just not my mind working overtime and fantasizing. In the next year or so, look out, here comes Rochelle and her money making machine!

And, I will remember my friends and family when it happens.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Holy Shit, I'm Really Out Of It Now!

Thanks, Rox. Is that enough to say?

She told me the other day she wanted to party, but then changed her tune. I showed up anyway just in case. Good thing; she was ready to party.

Here's the running order for cabana boys when I'm richer than shit!

#1 Gibby...the best back rubs in the land; way better than Tricky's.

#2 Roxy...You never actually applied, but you make the best drinks anywhere!

#3 Brad...you and Alicia are welcome any time.

#4 The dude that claims to be a massage therapist; whatever, it was awesome!

#5 Gary...yeah, you are so almost there!

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Got My Replacement iPod

Holy shit! It is a pain in the ass trying to upload my music to this thing. I wonder if they sent me another defective iPod?

Both my computer at work and home keep crashing trying to replace the music. Could it be any harder? Then I keep ending up with "duplicate songs" all over the place. Yup, try to delete one and the freakin' computer dies...over and over and over.

Good night kids.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Still Not Ready To Write

Too freakin' tired. The best I can do is say my week was made by a well-respected comic telling Merry that she and I are hilarious. Oh my God. Can you write some material for us? I've longed to go into stand up, but can't figure out the structure or where you pull the material from. What an honor to be told that we're funny. Yeah, we are.

The second thing that happened to me was a guy reviewing my gambling site wrote to me saying it was a fascinating place. I've know this all along, but hearing it from a pro is very awesome!

Still trying to catch up on laundry and unpacking. It is such a pain to come back from vacation. So tiring.

Time to go cuddle with "The best kitty in the whole wide world, Butthead."

Monday, July 25, 2005

Honey, I'm Home

Where do I start? I didn't even want to go to this juggling festival, but had told Merry, months ago, I would. What was I thinking? Of course, I'd have a great time. Afterall, Rochelle's Life Is Never Boring.

I'll tell you more tomorrow; have to finish laundry. But, it was a fuckin-fantastic trip! I have to get some sleep. It is sooooooo hot upstairs.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Finished Packing; Took 10 Minutes

I'm ready for my trip to Iowa for the IJA fest (International Jugglers Association).

Not really into juggling anymore, but I'm into the friendships I've made over the past 15 years. For me, it is more of social time than juggling time. Go to the shows and socialize.

Now Merry has a different agenda since she has taken on the role of Numbers Director. But still, the two of us (for the most part) can coexist. I always have great time with her (until the end of the week and she is so high-strung and bitchy) but, for the most part, we have tons of fun! Disclaimer here: I'm sure I get bitchy also. I just hate that moment when it happens and it always does. Then I have to sit in the bathroom and cry. Boo hoo, poor Rochelle! Whatever.

Actually, she would be a great one to take to New Orleans for a long weekend. I'm sure we'd have a blast.

Speaking of New Orleans, I promised my cab driver on the way to the airport, I' d give him a link. So here it is Jim Fast, ETS Executive Transportation Service.

Thanks for the praline candy and the tongue lashing you gave me. The tongue lashing part when I told him about my run in with the crackhead. "Don't ever look into their eyes and confront them." Actually, I knew better than that, but I was so pissed off.

Lisa, I was so happy to get an email from you last night. I adore you and Beth. And, I will be back soon...I swear! Perhaps November.

Really, I Don't Need Viagra, Software Or Quit My Job To Run A Casino Site!!!

Will you fuckin' morons stop spamming me?

Sheesh, I'm on vacation and need to check my email on my pocket pc, but can't because of all the fucking spam!

Would somebody do something about these ass-wipes? Please?

Now, I have to pack for my vacation where I can't check my email.

Talk to ya next week.

Don't Be Getting Your Shit In His Soup!

A Roxy quote. Some dumn ass was about to drop an ash in another customer's soup.

Roxy, you rock! Rick and i laughed for at least 20 minutes over that little outburst.

Love you kids. I'm off to Iowa (corn country) Monday. Probably won't be able to post for awhile..

I've been commissioned to do a Chad Johnson Jeeebus photochop. Probably won't happen until I get back. But dude, it will happen.

Friday, July 15, 2005

My Contribution To Jeeebus

Yup, just spent an hour photochopping. This is for you Schmoo.

Jeeebus shops at Hustler Hollywood across the street, and I bet he gets lap dances at Bristols!

Thanks Paul for sending this link my way. Funny shit!


Here's Lucy

Candice and Jim's new bunny. She is precious!

Check out those huge back feet.


How funny is this? If you live in the Cincy/Dayton area, I'm sure you've seen the scary 62 ft. Jesus. (Apparantely referred to as MC 62 ft. Jesus) This thing is in front of Solid Rock Church (the neon church) where they have neon signs that say things like "Vote The Bible."

My brother sent me a link to a site where they photoshop the Jesus with photos like this.

Check it out here: Big Scary Jesus Hands! (That's what my kids and I call it.)

By the way, this monsterous thing is at the same exit on I-75 as Bristol's Strip Club and Hustler Hollywood.


Thursday, July 14, 2005

In Unison Now...

Rochelle's a fucking moron, Rochelle's a fucking moron...

So I get my stupid little box to ship my iPod back to Apple. I swear I read the directions. I kept looking at the label and thinking that's not right. Didn't realize there was another label underneath it, and guess what? My sad iPod came back to me instead of Apple!

After investigating, yup, there is another label under the label. I had to call DHL and proclaim, am I the only moron? He assured me it happens all the time.

Continue singing kids, while I weep about my poor, little, sad iPod.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

My Computer Is Happy Again!

After witnessing the Jesus People, I came home and switched out my power supply. Too many freakin' plugs, but it is humming along quite nicely again. And, I found the correct stupid black plug to put in the blue jack.

Now I'm watching "Lost" on my computer and I can actually hear it. The unfortunate thing is, this is the only episode of "Lost" I caught before!

But, I'm getting excited about my trip next week since I found out Deena is going. Shit haven't seen her in three years? Yup, I think it was at Reading fest. Pretty sure it was Madison where she described her ferrel cat attack.

They're Kind Of Sweet, Afterall

You should know by now that I'm kind of anti-orgnanized religion, agnostic, if you need a term. For the second time, I witnessed the Jesus People doing their walk around the water on Union Centre Boulevard. Actually, I forgot about the first time I saw it. There were these two guys at the bar pointing (at me) out the window, saying what the fuck is that all about?

Judy and I yelled, "It's the Jesus People."

Now, I had no idea what they were doing, but they carry around a casket, speak in microphones (with a P.A. system) and a poor little lady was pushing a walker at the end.

I realized, after their first round, I have a camera! They did their second round and I ran out the door to capture this. There was a family of four asking, "What are they protesting"? Of course I said something like, "They're the Jesus Group." Then a woman came out with an infant and said, "I can tell you what it is. We're a Catholic church group, trying to spread the word. Mary said to always Pray The Rosary on the 13th of each month. So, we come out here and Pray The Rosary on the 13th of each month May through October."

I thanked her and shook her hand for the explanation. Even though I'm this crazy, cynical bitch, it's nice to see some folks with such conviction!

God Bless You Jesus People.
(Note: not the best photo, but you get the idea.)

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Maybe The Blow Job Worked Afterall?

My computer is quiet as HELL tonight! Still haven't figured out which stupid little black plug fits into the blue hole yet. I have no sound and a million black plugs under my desk. My new power supply should be here tomorrow..have to replace it and perhaps, find the right black plug.

My iPod is dead. I was going to work this morning and the Apple box was sitting outside the front door. Cool, I thought, I'll take it to work with me and package up everything and maybe I'll have it back in time before I have to leave for Iowa. But, NOOOOOOOOO, I couldn't find my iPod. So I left the box at home. Of course, I get to work and my iPod is in the wrong pocket of my purse. Shit, the box is home.

Anyway, I just packaged it up and called DHL for a pickup at work tomorrow. None of the drop off locations are anywhere near where I'll be. My fingers are crossed that they actually show up and take my sick, sad iPod back to Apple.

What in the hell am I going to do for music next week? Merry, I hope you have a CD player in your car...but, then again, I don't have many CDs, because all of my songs are on my iPod!

Monday, July 11, 2005

Blow Job Didn't Work...

on the computer that is. But, I've narrowed it down to my power supply fan and should have a new power supply Wednesday. I hope so, this noise is freaking me out!

Signing off now because I don't want to fry the whole computer.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Nice Weekend (So Far)

Last night I hung out with Roxy and Rick for "date night." Great time. We went to some little dive bar and had many beers and shots. Have you ever had a chocolate cake shot? Amazing stuff when prepared right.

Slept very late today. And I needed it. I'm still on New Orleans time where I stay up all night and sleep late. The problem is I have to go to work. I have got to turn this around...I need to work for myself so that I can do that shit! Not yet since I'm not making any money on my own, but you wait! In the next couple of years, I'll be rolling in the dough (I hope) and work 3-4 hours a day.

I layed in the pool and read my "Entertainment Weekly" this afternoon. That is my idea of a relaxing Saturday in the summer. The pool was surprisingly clean (I haven't cleaned it for a week.) Tomorrow it will get its proper dose of chlorine and vacuuming.

Plus, I am weedwacking tomorrow. Just need to get some decent sleep tonight (and not all day).

That's it for now. Oh, one other thing...I think I fixed my computer. Just have to open it up and blow all the dust out of the fans. Nick. it's not the hard drive dying, just the fans clogged up with dust. Now, I have to fix Paul's PC because the dumn ass let a virus download. I'm sure this will be a bigger task than giving a computer a blow job!

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Thank You Danny!

I'm not talkin' about Choo Choo...But the other Danny whom I had a good time with tonight (not great, only a hug and a kiss). So there, Candice, that was it!

I need to write tonight about "Mean Girls" and "I Heart Huckabees" on my Indie-Culture site.

So I managed to crank out "Mean Girls" but it took me soooooo long to remember how to do this crap...Amazon & Google links.

"I Heart Huckabees" will be coming soon; I promise.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

I Started A New Blog For Mom Tonight!

Hey family, it is here: Kathy Roberts Memorial.

This is where we will post our experiences and spread the ashes all over the freakin' place!

Get busy kids (as soon as I pass out the cremains to everybody). I love you guys!

Finished A Really Boring Project Today

I've been working on this crap since the last week of May! I'm not done yet. Still have to write the pages and products, and then go back and find all the stuff that has been updated from last year. It's still another two weeks or so of work to get set, but holy shit, I finally conquered the worse of it!

Feels good. Now I just need to get info from two more manufacturers and I can complete those pain-in-the-ass projects. Get back with me already!

I need some closure before I go on vacation again in a week and a half.

Yup, off to the IJA Festival. I am sooooooo bored with juggling, but I kind of promised Merry I would go with her. I would really prefer to stay home and start working on this wreck of a house than travel to corn country. But, I guess I'll be in Iowa soon. Bahhhhhhhh!

New Camera

Lisa had a cool little camera and so I bought one. Only $50 at Radio Shack (after rebate) for a 3 megapixel. It's pretty tiny and I read reviews that the photos suck because of the shake factor. Since I shake a lot, I thought I would never be able to get a decent photo.

But, I think it works pretty darn well. Here is one of my first attempts. It is a picture of Cleo, my smiling dog.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

One More Thing, Ian Turner Was Found

Ian Turner, a moderator at WebmasterWorld finally appeared. The whole SE community posted blogs and forum threads trying to find him.

He was detained in an Atlanta jail because he left his passport on the plane after a dreadful flight. (Following the WMW conference in New Orelans.) I will definately be questioning my buddy at Homeland Security about this practice. Seriously, folks, holding somebody without a phone call for five-six days? His wife was out of her mind, as were the rest of us in the SEO/SEM community.

But, thankfully, he showed up again. Good job guys!

New Orleans Revisited

Haven't had time yet to write about my amazing experience in New Orleans. I have the notes, but had to go out of town again. I promise, I will soon document my New Orleans trip.

I swear!

On another note, I will soon be starting a blog for Mom and where we deposit her ashes.


Back home again after, um, I don't know, a very long time!

We had the slumber party in Granville, "like Stepford but with carnies." Hey, they put an awesome fireworks show on. And, we found a great little brew pub (I stole a pint glass).

Friday night was the fireworks. (And the revelation that my 19 year old nephew is messing around with a 36 year old woman...3 years younger than his mother...ewwww.)

Saturday, we saw a few bands. Lisa, the groupie came up and introduced us all to the band. That was cool. That night, Sara and I sat on the deck until 8:00 a.m. One of the most amazing experiences of my life! Bullfrogs croaking in the middle of the night. Then, the sky broke and all of the birds in the world came to sing to us. It was fuckin' awesome. I've never seen anything like it in my life!

Nick and Paul, I'm sorry if we pissed you off. Nick, I swear anything we talked about you was pure love. Paul, we didn't realize you were trying to sleep on the couch. We tried hard to be quiet as we ran in and out to get beer. We were just playing "Charlies Angels" and making sure there weren't guns around the corner. Then, Sara did a barrel roll on the deck. It was a big thump, but, oh so funny.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!