Ramblings and rants about the amusing, stupid things that happen to me in and around Cincinnati.

Friday, September 30, 2005

Everything Is Fine, Now

Thanks Andrew, and especially to my boss whom let me make the decision and he signed a very large check so I could get it to the post office and mail it. I want this thing to happen at least by next Wednesday.

Sorry, I just can't trust our old hosting company. I'm scared that they might go out of business at any time and pull the plug. Shit, our sales are down enough as it is with gas prices and the economy, but this could put all of us out of work for awhile.

Done with the work bullshit! Feeling much better now...

GO BENGALS, can't wait for 1:00 p.m. Sunday. Let's kick some more ass!

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Anxiety Attack Last Night

It all started at work yesterday morning. I've been waiting for two years and two months for updates from our shopping cart software! The contract said the work would be finished by July 31, 2003. Many phone calls and emails and no responses from these ass-clowns.

So, I check my email (as I do everyother morning) and surprise, an email from the idiot. But, here's the thrilling and heart stopping part...Something like, Rochelle, we've decided to pull this software off the shelf. It is suggested you find another solution.

WTF? What does this mean? You are also hosting my account. Are you going to pull the plug on my bosses business. SHIT!!!

I remembered a hosting company, back in the day before they disabled the forums. I called him and he basically said, Nope can't host that software because of the way they changed the licensing. You'll have to move to a new platform. (Added--after much research on this host, he doesn't offer dedicated servers and he hosts a lot of gay porn sites...um, no thanks, can't put the company in that position, hee hee.)

Yup, that will take me a year or so, plus keeping up on updates, etc.

Then I meet Candice and Jim for a drink and Jim is busting my chops saying, come on, you can transfer in a week. Dude, I don't know what you're smoking, but give me some. I mean we have over 2000 categories and over 6000 products. Jim, you might be living in some strange Jetstones dream world, but you have no idea what our site is about and all the freakin' bold red and blue crap to make a point!

Long story short...talked to the one tech support dude left and he told me somebody to call. I've found my new host. A great guy and I don't have to change anything. He's well versed in this platform and can deal with it. Andrew, let's talk tomorrow...you've got our business.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Bob Loblaw

Holy shit! How funny is this. Come on kids, just say it outloud! He he.

Gotta love "Arrested Development." Two episodes so far, the worst ratings ever, but fuck, still the funniest show EVER on Television!

What is the problem, America? Can't you handle not having a laugh track? How much more can I preach about this excellent show? I mean, fuck, is everybody in the USA retarded? Must be.

OK, one more time, and I swear you will laugh hilariously, just say it out loud! Bob Loblaw!

This is so pathetic that the TV best show, and I'll say it outloud, before or after "Seinfeld" only draws 3-4 million a week! Come on kids, Charlize Theron is even guest starring for a five week stint.

Yup, the current Oscar winner went after them (from what I've read) and wanted to guest star on this show.

Why aren't you watching??? Come on, you don't need a fuckin' laugh track to know when to laugh. Trust me, the chicken dances are enough to crack you up.


Sunday, September 25, 2005

My Bengals Rocked Again

Yeah, I'm ready to call them "My Bengals." Afterall, I've stuck behind "My Reds" all season.

How refreshing that we are now a power house. It's very entertaining to listen to the sports casters talking about Cincinnati. Holy crap, we haven't been 3-0 since 1990 when we went to the playoffs and my Reds won the World Series.

Kids, the Cincy Bengals rock. This is going to be a great season. Personally, I don't see any threats until we meet up with Big Ben from Pittsburgh. The Steelers lost today. And, I'm not sure what I think about the Steelers. I hate them, but I love Big Ben. After all, he went to my alma mater Miami University.

But still, I hate the Steelers.

Go Bengals!!! Much love to Carson, Regi, Chad, T.J. and, of course, that kick ass defense that keeps picking off passes. Did you know we're the first team in 34 years to have five interceptions in consecutive games? How much does that rock?

Yup, my Bengals Rock!

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Candice And I Came Up With A Plan

So, Dad is obviously falling in love with this millionaire woman. Just as I decide I don't want to leave this house, he maybe getting ready to leave.

Hooked up with my daughter tonight and we decided we're prepared if he leaves. Yup, PARTY HOUSE! Already bought the pool table and looking at slot machines and pinball machines.

Candice talked to her husband, Jim, and he's all set to adopt this little scheme. Now we just have to get rid of Dad. And, I need to take over the mortgage. Yes, this could work. It would be Paul, Candice, Jim and I sharing a house.

Jim and Candice always talked about getting a house and taking care of me. Well now, they just have to move in here and take care of me...GET READY TO PARTY!!!

On another note, GO BENGALS! I hope you wipe the Bears asses out of Chicago. Of course I'm scared since the Bengals are getting such good press. Hell, they were voted the number nine power team on MSN. It worries me that things are going so well for them. But then, I'm a pessimist, just like my kitty Butthead (who walks around all day saying, "out" when he isn't out of food or water). Just me. Don't like it when things look too good.

Goodnight. Think I'll probably end up at Chili's again for the big game.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Where Are These Steak Ads Coming From?

Funny how Google Adsense works. When was the last time I talked about steaks? Two weeks ago, maybe.

Funny, I don't even like steak. But those O'Chuck's kids steaks rock!

Yummm, STEAK!

WTF? Gas Prices To $4.00-$5.00/Gallon

Give me a break, W. This is total bullshit. Sure, you blamed Katrina for $3.00/gallon, but face it, ass-clown, it was up to $2.80+ a week before the hurricane even hit.

Yeah, I understand that 10-15% of our refineries are being hit, but you raised the prices before the two hurricanes.

I hope everybody gets out of there ok. Scott, Marygrace, Jack...love you. Lisa, I'm sorry you're going through this again. Shit, you left New Orleans and went to Lake Charles. I hope you're ok.

I'm saying a prayer for you all.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Haven't Written Much

That migraine damn near killed me. I didn't go to work yesterday and just haven't felt like writing.

As I layed in bed yesterday, I started reading John Battelle's "The Search: How Google and Its Rivals Rewrote the Rules of Business and Transformed Our Culture." Very interesting for us geakoids interested in search engines.

That's about all I have for now...time to watch "Survivor."

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Now Back To tonight

Having problems publishing. Oh, well.

Nick actually called me tonight on my way home and wanted to go see Roxy. Is this a rerun of last night with Candice?

I haven't talked to Nick for more than 30 seconds during the last two weeks. I was smeriously worried about him. He's fine and has some good news from his job. They pulled him off his current job and want to train him in every facet of the company. And, hopefully, the goal is in a couple of years he'll be a bona fide trouble shooter traveling all over the world and making huge amounts of dollars. When he told me the daily rate his boss told him he'd make, I said, "HOLY FUCK, DO NOT LOSE THIS JOB!"

No, shit. This could be absolutely huge for him!!! Geez, I hope so, the kid is so intelligent and has never had the chance to prove himself. This place actually listens to him and he has solved a lot of problems. He is so talented and I hope (pray) this works out for him.

Meanwhile, I'm watching "Nip / Tuck" and I forgot how gross this show can get sometimes. I'm lovin' it.

Sinus Headache For The Past Two Nights

Yesterday, on my way home, Candice called and wanted to have dinner. It's always nice hanging out with my kids, but, shit, I felt like Hell.

Came home and crawled in bed with Butthead and caught the season premiere of "Arrested Development." Why doesn't anybody watch this excellent show? Holy fuck, it was definitely one of the top five episodes EVER! And, this is the best comedy EVER on television...even better than Seinfeld!!!It's a tragedy that Americans are so dumned down and have to follow laugh tracks.

Kids, "Arrested Development" is the most original show on TV. The best cast ever on TV. I mean, come on, there's Jason Bateman, Jeffrey Tambor, Jessica Walter, David Cross, Portia de Rossi, Will Arnett, and the fabulous kids. Not to mention the most excellent guest stars...and I don't mean egotistical guest stars like on "Will and Grace." Real guest stars playing parts like...Liza Minelli, Julia Louise-Dryfuss, Henry Winkler, coming up next week Charlize Theron (for several weeks) and many more. Jeeebus, somebody needs to watch this stuff. You will laugh your ass off. I guarantee it.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Fun Sunday!

So, I was laying around watching the Bengals and realized, holy shit, I can take a shower at half time and run up to Chili's and drink a couple and get some food.

That's exactly what I did. Had a great time. The young dude and his dad made it very interesting. Yup, the old man was buying us shots and apple martinis. Didn't plan on getting that toasted on a Sunday afternoon, but oh, well. Came home and weed wacked. At least I did something productive today besides falling off a barstool.

Very fun time....go Bengals!!!

Scott & Tiffany's Wedidng

This couple are into medieval shit. So, we got to the reception and in the one room they had Scott's armour (he paid a ton for and many trips to NY for fittings) and Tiffany's very expensive dress.

But here's the strange part. They delivered a mini catapult to each table and a bag of marshmallows. Scott had built each of these catapults in his shop. I've never seen anything like this. A massive food fight.

Of course my table was the most aggressive. When we came back after visiting the buffet, our catapult was tied up in ribbons so it couldn't be used and they took away our marshmallows.
Those bastards! But it was a great time and a very interesting wedding.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Margaritas ROCK

Started the Wellbutrin about three days ago to stop smoking. The doctor said it takes about two weeks to get into my system. Hopefully, she says, when I come back for my four week visit, I'll be smoking half as much.

OK, so it's not supposed to be in my system yet? From the first day, I've had very little desire to drink beer. Smeriously, I actually think about coming home at night instead of my usual hour or two at happy hour. Kids, I don't want to come home! I enjoy my friends I've met at Roxy and Bev's places. Plus, I need that down time each day. I work on the computer for 8-9 hours at work and come home and do another 2-4 hours. Everyday!

Tonight, I drank a couple of margaritas...they were yummy. Very refreshing. Time to put my laundry in the dryer and do some actual work (as I watch CNN coverage of Katrina).

Perhaps, I'll start drinking Iced Tea during happy hour...yeah, right!

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Met Arn & Jack Tonight

We went to O'Chuck's to see Rox. Jack left kind of early. I don't think I pissed him off, but perhaps?

Arn and I had the most excellent kid's 5 ounce sirloin with baked potato. Man, what a deal. It is delicious! Of course when questioning Roxy why they would sell us kid's steaks along with beer, her reply is always, "We do it the O'Yes Way."

Where else can you get a steak dinner for $3.99? Um, NOWHERE?

I have a feeling, I'll be packing that 30 pounds back on soon. This is the second time this week I've had that dinner. Oh, well, I'd rather eat fairly decent than not at all. My grieving has subsided a bunch and I feel like I may be close to reclaiming my life.

There were many nights since Mom's death where I would just eat a few spoonfuls of peanut butter, or a slice of two of cheese. That can't be healthy. I honestly feel I'm getting back on track. I started my meds to stop smoking and hopefully, I will kick this habit in the next couple of months.

As I get better, I hope I can focus on my future and take the time I need to focus on my ventures. Wish me luck.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Survivor Starts Tomorrow

The good shows start this week.

First off, I don't think Survivor is that great of a show, I'm just addicted and can't wait.

Secondly, Arrested Development is the best show ever on TV and it starts Monday. However, FOX fucked up by not releasing season two until October 11. How are people supposed to figure out this show without previous episodes? Really think you blew this one, guys. "I blue myself."

Thirdly, Nip/Tuck begins Tuesday. I can't wait. Looks like it will be even more twisted (is that possible?) than in the first two seasons.

And of course, the Emmy Awards are on Sunday. Don't think AD can do much against Desperate Housewives (even though DH isn't a true comedy) but I still like it.

Here's my stance, AD is WAAAAAYYYYYY better than DH (as far as true comedies go).

Finally, An iPod That Works And I'm Inspired

Had to wait for Candice and Jim to leave before I could gain control of my computer. Had time to eat a sandwich and share it with Cleo. On my way home, I actually listened to tunes instead of sports or right-wing conservative AM radio talk on WLW.

What a refreshing change of pace!

WooHoo, I have music again!

Yesterday, I bought the Giant Drag and Dandy Warhols new releases. I listened to Giant Drag on my way home and was reminded how it felt in the early to mid-nineties and hear refreshing sounds like Veruca Salt, Letters To Cleo, Republica, Juliana Hatfield, They Eat Their Own, Transistor, Garbage and, even, Courtney Love's Hole. All female led bands with strong vocals.

OK. Time to write an article on my long-suffering site http://www.indie-culture.com. I'll finish my thoughts there.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

The Jesus People Returned

Made a trip to Rafferty's tonight for the return of the Jesus march. They walk up and down Union Centre Boulevard reciting the rosary every 13th of the month. Been out of town for the last three months and made a special effort to be there tonight.

Understand, I'm not making fun of them. It's just nobody knew what they were doing for a long time until I finally asked them. They said Mary said to recite the rosary on the 13th and that's what they do. They're from some little Catholic church in West Chester and they walk around the water and fountains.

I wish them luck. And, I'm happy the little old lady with the walker who always falls behind is still walking.

Monday, September 12, 2005

One More Rant

My ex-husband sucks. I felt sorry for him and hired him to gut and redo my bathroom. It's been torn apart for two and a half weeks now and all I get from him are empty promises that, "It will be done, tomorrow."

Grow up ass clown and face your responsiblities.

What A Long, Tiring Day

I am so tired. One of those days at work. Finally finished a three week project and I'm exhausted. On top of that, I kept getting interrupted by my boss about another couple of problems that have been going on for months. At least he is siding with me for once and it's the vendors that are fucked up. But, what a brain drain!

And, it's not going to be any easier tomorrow...conference calls, bitch sessions and who knows what's in store for me. I've got to get some decent sleep tonight.

On a brighter note, I finally filled my prescription of Wellbutrin. I'll probably start on it Wednesday so I can hit a four week appointment with my doctor on a Wednesday evening. Time to stop this smoking habit. I hope these happy pills do their job.

By the way, did I mention I have an iPod that actually works? Now I have to go through the daunting task of recreating my play lists on the new iPod. I smeriously don't know how much music I lost. Don't think it was much, but I'm sure I'll discover some tunes missing eventually.

Tomorrow is the day my new favorite band, Giant Drag, has their latest disc coming out. Can't wait. Wonder if it's available on iTunes yet. Be back in a minute as I check...Nope, not yet. I promise I will not be staying up after midnight...it can wait until tomorrow.

Oooh, looks like the new Dandy Warhols is coming out tomorrow also. What a great new music Tuesday!

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Bengals And Reds Win Today!!!

Could Cincy sports be making a come back? The Bengals looked pretty good against the Browns (even though the Browns are a high school team.)

Shees, I hope we have a winning team for once.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Wine Is A Completely Different Buzz

Told Jack the other night, I would volunteer at the wine festival with him & Jenny. What a good time, not many customers between 2:30 and 5:30 and plenty of wine for ourselves.

Smeriously, haven't had a good wine buzz in about 20 years. Forgot how different alcohols make you feel. Been beer buzzing forever. Long live the vine. It ROCKED!!!

Great Marketing Idea

So this kid from the UK comes up with an idea to fund his college expenses and bought the url: http://www.milliondollarhomepage.com/. FUCK, why didn't I think of that. He's getting a huge amount of press!

His goal is to make a million to pay for college, new socks and to help his parents.

Here's the deal: he sells pixels at a $1.00 a shot with the minimum of a 10 x 10 spot. That equals to $100 for a little tiny image. I'm telling you, it's freakin' genius. And since the press started hopping on it, there are all kinds of people jumping on the bandwagon. Like a pixel for one cent. Hey, last week called and they want their idea back!

Hell, I bit into it and bought a spot, and of course, I was spammed by the penny guy. Get over it dude...you're lame!

Alex, I think it's going to work for you. You are a genius for that crazy little idea and somehow got the press to report about it.

Good luck!

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Finally Heard From Lisa In New Orleans!

Apparently, she sent me an email a few days ago which I never received. The gist is she and Beth stayed there and had no running water but plenty of food, water and alcohol. The dumbass management ran off in the last available vehicle without telling them! Dumn Asses!

They were stuck there for six days until the troops took them to safety. Lisa hadn't heard from her kids for three days! Plus, Lisa personally evacuated about 8-9 folks staying in the hotel to her family's home so they could fly home.

Lisa, you are my hero and I'm so happy to hear from you.

Folks, this sucks big time. Fuck off, once again, W.

Whatever, they are safe now and I'm very relieved. Thank God or Jeebus or whomever, they're ok!!!

I do love you guys. I realize I only knew you for 9-10 days, but you kids made a memory in my life. Smeriously, I hope Peter is ok (even though I never made to the Hustler club).

Beth, perhaps one day I can come to San Diego and see you again. I can't stand the fact that I will never see you and Lisa together. You two made my 10 days very memorable. I'm so happy I got down there before the disaster. Once again, I love you and God speed.


Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Feeling Helpless

Still watching and dreaming about the French Quarter.

I so want to go down there and help you guys. Lisa, Beth, Peter & KC, once again, where are you? Are you OK?

Back to the weekend. Started off Friday night meeting Jack & Jenny. Even Paul was there. Good time. Went back to their house and had chicken. Nice meal and atmosphere. Thanks guys.

Saturday went to O'Chuck's and Roxy and Rick were sitting at a table. Apparently, Rox didn't feel like working so we partied it up. Played pool and they fed me O'Doul's. Didn't realize it at the time, but thanks kids.

Sunday, went out in the boat with Merry and Mark. Saw an awesome sunset and amazing stars.

Last night went to the Cincinnati Reds game with Dorothy, Mary & Janet. We had awesome seats right behind home plate. (Second section where nothing is free. Had to pay for it all.) Then in the 4th or 5th inning we went to the luxurious suite to see Doug. And, he says, "Hey girls, come in for some free beer." He collected four tickets and wrist bands so we could hang out. The game went into the 10th inning, and I guarantee, we had a SMERIOUSLY GOOD TIME!

And now here I am. Went to Bev's place and hung out with Jack, Judy and Dwight. Then Mike showed up and we had a Washington Apple. Very nice evening.

But at work today, I managed to hook up that new server. And, all the computers recognize it! I'm from the old school. XP and Windows Server make things too easy! At least I got all the data transferred without too many ordeals.

Guess I'll have to finish the job tomorrow.

Shit, this stuff is too easy (from what I've heard) but I haven't dealt with in five to six years. Seems really hard to me!

Monday, September 05, 2005

Special Nice Weekend, Smeriously

Haven't had much time to pull myself away from the tube. I'm so sad about my city, New Orleans. The weird thing is I've had dreams about the French Quarter for three nights now. Not just normal dreams, but dreams where my whole family is involved. All the destruction, but the hope that the French Quarter is still open!

The dreams involve snow skiing, alpine sleds, whitewater rapids, and any other thing that could be strange as hell. My whole goal is to get back to "Snooks" and find Lisa and Beth. Last night in the dream, I came across Lisa and she was pregant (not likely) but Beth would answer her phone and be a bitch. I hope you guys are OK. I wish I could find you somehow, but I can't.

However, last night, I found an article where Snooks opened on Monday after Katrina went through.

I feel so helpless.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Lisa, Beth, Peter & K.C.

Where in the Hell are you?

I am so upset over the hurricane bullshit...looting, shooting, riots, rapes, murders and whatever. Lisa, could you contact me? I realize you probably don't have the option of checking your email, but I am so smerious, come up here guys and I'll find you jobs. I have lots of space to put you up and lots of new restaurants opening up around here. There are plenty of new places to sling beer!

God, I hope you guys are safe. I'm not a religious person, but fuck, I'm praying for you kids. I want to see you again!

I love you guys. Come on N.O. BEER BITCH, get back with me already!



I Realize Nobody Reads This Dreck

I've probably used that headline before?

Smeriously, a good SEO (Search Engine Optimizer) who has an excellent book, "SEO Book" is being sued by the clowns from Traffic Power (now 1st Place or whatever...1 Place?) for God knows what.

Aaron, you are one of the most honest guys I've had the pleasure of emailing back and forth and I hope this sets a precedent against ass-wipes like them.

Anyhow, Aaron has set up a legal defense fund to not fold to these idiots. I have contributed, and so should you!

Here's the post from threadwatch.org encouraging all of us that "Blogging Is Not A Crime."

Blogging Is Not A Crime!

The short story is this: Aaron is being sued over comments left on his blog by his readers about a notoriously unsavoury company called Traffic Power, or 1p. Within the Search industry, these people are regarded as the lowest of the low, and if you dig through some of those Search results, or the links at the bottom of this post, you'll find all the gory details. Suffice to say, they are considered theives and villains by the overwhelming majority of the Search Marketing community.

We don't think it's right, do you?

We feel this has to end here. There is far more at stake than a scummy company vs a blogger - this is about free speech on blogs, and the right for users to comment, without blog publishers having to fear lawsuits.

So, What Can YOU Do?

See the graphic at the top right? It links to the donate to Aarons legal costs post. You can start by giving him a few $$$'s to fight these people effectively.

Help Promote the Blogging is NOT a Crime Campaign
By using one of these lovely graphical banners on your blog, forum or website, you will help spread the word, and raise more cash - enabling better lawyers and legal council. Simply pick one that fits your site, and link it to the donate post.

Simple eh? Don't you feel GOOD now?


There is much to the history of TP/1p, and you can find a lot of it in the Google searches linked above, but recently, these are the more notable posts and discussions on the subject if you'd like more in-depth information to quote and link to.

Wall Street Journal: Blogger Faces Lawsuit OverComments Posted by Readers
LockerGnome: SEOBook vs. Traffic Power - Bloggers on Trial
Slashdot: Blog Faces Lawsuit Over Reader Comments
MediaChannel: Blogger Faces Lawsuit Over Comments Posted by Readers
Search Engine Watch: Traffic Power Files Suit Against SEO Book
Web Pro News: Aaron Wall Sued Over SEOBook Blog Comments
Threadwatch: SEOBook Sued by Traffic Power Arsewipes, Considers Pulling Content