Ramblings and rants about the amusing, stupid things that happen to me in and around Cincinnati.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Jack And Jenny

Holy shit! Haven't seen you guys since June 2, 2004. I know the date, because that was my last birthday.

Great seeing you again, and I hope you show up next Wednesday as we agreed on. You need to see Bev again.

Got home in time to catch most of Survivor, since I forgot to record it.

Just hanging out (with my feet on boxes so I don't get soaked from the flooded family room). Chez is in heat, again! Seems to be happening every two weeks or so. But, shit, I love that little critter when she's in heat. She doesn't bite or scratch, just cuddles...very nice.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

A "Trying Day And Night And Day"

Had to work in the "big house" most of today and all tomorrow. Ya you know, I'm a team player and will do the pinch hitter role whenever necessary. But, fuck, don't bitch when I missed a fuckin' $8.00 in discounts on a $5,000 - $6,000 payment! Christ, I checked that shit three times before cutting the check! First of all, I have to go in and fudge the dates to get the 2% discount! Christ, man, give us a break, already! It's not my fault, you know, who quit without any warning! We're doing the best we can (without knowing what in the hell we're doing). Give us a break already. Here's $10! Spend the extra $2 on a beer, and lighten up!

Oh, one more thing, FUCK OFF!

P.S. Remember, I never talk about work here. Hopefully, I won't be the next Dooce or Mark Jen. Amen.

Monday, March 28, 2005

This Weekend

Had another "Roberts Family Slumber Party."

Too much fun. We went to the gay bar for "Depeche Mode Night." This 58 year old drag queen, "Steve...aka Stephanie" kept dancing with me. He said he was going to be my new son-in-law. Whatever, he was kind of hot in that little black dress!

Tons of fun. Not many people there. Not like "Madonna Night" where it was packed.

We went to bed around 5:00 a.m. I had told Doug and Dorothy, since we were the only losers on the planet without any plans, I'd make my mom's kick-ass potato salad. Doug went nuts about the prospect. So, Dorothy and I went to Kroger's and bought a "spiral glazed ham" and shit for potato salad, rolls, green bean casserole...

Called dad and invited him over. Oh my god, he was so happy to be included in a real meal!

It was a nice Easter after all. My kids always run off to the in-laws and grandparents; we managed to have a real family meal...even if there were only four of us.

This Sucks!

My computer sounds like it's dying...hope it's just the fan. But of course, my family room has a slight water problem with all the rain! Put a trash bag on the floor to climb under the desk, but can't deal with pulling all the plugs and reconnecting.

It has taken me over an hour to log onto Blogger to bitch!

That dumb dog unplugged my light and threw off my speakers again!

Arn and Nancy called me too late to have dinner tonight...already ate and was at the mall. Of course, I couldn't find anything!

Had to work in the big house for more than half the day.

What else? I'll probably try to publish this and won't be able to connect again...let's see.

Able to save as draft...all right!

Friday, March 25, 2005

New Friend Tonight

I met this guy tonight, very interesting guy, but I didn't catch his name. Not that I'm on the hunt or anything, he is married and has a baby on the way. Just a damn fine conversation! That's all...it's nice to meet different people and connect. That's what I live for.

Tomorrow night is Depeche Mode night at the gay bar! We have another family slumber party planned. I can't wait! On my way home with my iPod on shuffle mode, I actually heard my two favorite DM songs...Puppets and Photographic. It's destiny, or is it density.

Damnit Nick, you are going!

Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

I'm Fucked

on the NCAA championships! Whatever! Kat, I'm sorry if I pissed you off, but if you knew me at all you would realize I'm a sarcastic bitch. Whatever! But, seriously, I can't believe she took that tongue in cheek comment so badly. What is your fuckin' problem?

Anyway, I need to work on Indie Culture, your source for the best music, dvds, television, hi-tech gadgets and whatever!

Ok, I've got the rant released and time to move on.

My favorite new band is Giant Drag. Who in the hell can't love Annie and her co-hort and the lyrics! My favorite tune for now is YFJLMD (which stands for You Fuck Just Like My Dad. Hehe. Last Thursday, woxy.com did a live remote at SXSW in Austin. And I can tell you, Annie was the greatest! Check out her website and read the shit she writes. Hilarious!

All right, time to write about it now at Indie Culture.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Cleo (That Dog) Is A Pain In My Ass!

I got home tonight and guess what? My desk light is unplugged and both of my speakers (no surprise) are laying on the floor!

Damnit DOG, stop it!

When I bought this desk, it seemed like a great idea. But, the bottom is completely open and when it rains (even 300 miles away..like in Chicago) she freaks out and climbs under there to be sheltered. Or she does stupid shit like climbing high...on the kitchen table, the bathroom vanity, and even once, the stupid little three inch ledge that borders the steps in the juggling room.

Sheez, Cleo, the world is not going to end over a little rain!

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Oh, Yeah, Before I Got Trashed At O'Chux

I had to work tonight very late. Yup, had to add 14,177 new products to our internal database. It will probably back-fire some day since the vendor keeps using the same part numbers over-and-over! The problem is when I spoke to our software manufacturer they kept insisting on how you can't use duplicate stock numbers.

Yeah, I know...It's basically the same software we use on our website, and I've found a way to trick it into using duplicate numbers. We do that a lot.

But, I'm really freaked out about our internal ordering system. It could blow up...and I'm fucked!

What it comes down to is that this national company adds new features and I'm the beta tester! It's happened twice now. I guess I'm the only one to play the odds and make it work.

And then, once I make it work, the vendor turns it all over to our competitors and say, "she made it work, so can you."

Actually, I'm kind of sick of living in the fast lane! Too much pressure.

Once again (in a Johnny Jackson-Stone) whisper, "Rochelle has left the building."

They Made Me Stay Too Long!

Fuck off, Michael, Tim, Judy & Roxy. I kept trying to leave, but nooo-ooooo!

Hey, at least, we pulled out the "new" microphone. Sure, it wasn't a penis straw, but O'Chux wrapped silverware in linen napkins work just fine. I hope they wash that stuff once in a while...

Rochelle has left the building!!!

Monday, March 21, 2005

MIA For A Couple Of Days

Still mourning over the UC loss to UK. It was a good fight boys, considering how bad you were getting pounded in the first quarter.

On the radio tonight, I hear talk of Bob Huggins possibly being fired. What? This guy has done nothing but bring outstanding basketball to this ghetto school. Sure, he had a DUI last year, but who really gives a shit? Geez, look at his record since he revived this program!

So, they're moving to the Big East next year, who in the hell can do better than him? I don't think Tubby Smith or Rick Pitino are looking for jobs. UC administration, get your heads out of your asses and promote this guy already!

On another note, you know I don't speak of work here, but last week we had an employee quit (without saying so). I had to pick up the former employee's slack today, plus wait for a meeting at 5:45. Damn, I'm tired, plus the fucking sinus headaches are back.

Need to take my meds and go to bed. Goodnight.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Can't Wait For The Big Game

Huge game tonight...U.C. vs. U.K. Good luck guys, I hope you didn't expend all of your explosive energy Thursday against Iowa.

I'm still rocking 75% on my picks. Sitting at 24 and 8.

Friday, March 18, 2005

Four More Games Tonight

Still sitting at 75%; four more tonight. But for right now, I'm 21 and 7.

Not too bad, eh?

Put Up More Content On The Gambling Site

Will Veda supplied me with two more tutorials tonight: Boston 5 Card Stud and Three Card Poker.

Keep up the good work, dude, one of these days we'll get out of the dreaded "Google Sandbox."

NCAA Brackets

Waiting on the third round of the day to finish. So far I am up 18 and 6! Not bad. I'm hitting 75% so far.

Go Bearcats! If you play like you did yesterday, you will fuckin' wipe up UK's faces off the floor.

Good luck U.C.

Warning, TMI Coming

Last night, I partaked in the Saint Patty's Day festivities maybe a little too much!

So here is the gross part, I've been pooping green all day.

Sorry guys, but it's pretty fucking gross. Remind me next year to "just say no" to the green dye.

Thank you.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Don't Try This At Home, Kids

Never, ever, and I repeat, never go to Roxy's place on St. Pat's day! What a fuster cluck!

Anyway, last I checked, I'm doing pretty good in the NCAA pool. Haven't seen the last round of scores (next on my to do list) but as of the second series of games, I was 6 and 2.

Go Bearcats! You guys rocked today. Do the same Saturday against UK. We're depending on you!

Oh, yeah, I think I'm having a grandchild in about 8 months and 2 weeks!

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Damn, Angie Was Voted Off

Survivor will suck once again. My fave, Angie, was voted off tonight. This sucks!

But, did I tell you I found another use for my iPod? It works, but I can't watch videos at work. It's too bad I have a conscience and worry about wasting my employer's time.

Refreshing view, eh?

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Another Awesome Use For My iPod

Talking to Rick tonight, trying to convince him to spend the extra $50 on the bigger iPod Shuffle, he comes back with you can get a 4 gig mini for $179. Hmmm, I think, then go for the mini!

But, something clicks in my mind, hey, I've got a 40 gig and only have 1500 songs, plus backup files from work. Why can't I take my downloads from my computer TV and transfer them to my iPod and watch them on my other computer?

He thinks it won't work, and I think it will! Afterall, the computer sees the iPod as another disc. Well, kids, I tried it and it works! Yup, I'm watching three episodes of Arrested Development tomorrow while waiting for the NCAA tournament to start!

Damn, I love this $400 iPod!

Oh yeah, I use my computer as a TIVO and record to my hard drive...technology rocks.

Time To Lighten Up, Damnit!

My favorite quote from Arrested Development Sunday:

Maeby: Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with a "T" on it?

Michael: That's a cross.

Maeby: Across from where?

Also, we saw Henry Winkler (Barry Zuckerkorn) jumping over a shark. Remember where the term "jumped a shark" came from? Yup, when Henry Winkler (the Fonz) jumped a shark on skis on Happy Days.

For a little more amusement, check out this site:
Free Annyong. Make sure you have the speakers on, so you can hear him say "hello." Or, just mover your mouse over his face.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Other Birthdays Today

Mom, Nick and I met and had a few for you. Candice was a prissy girl and had to take a shower, blah, blah, blah, and didn't get there before my two hours were up.

Anyway, it was Dave G's. birthday--31 today, and Big Jim--73 today, one year older than you would be. But damn, this guy still looks great! Big Jim bought a round and Double D did as well, I hope you're happy. I love you so much and can't believe I have two friends who have birthdays the same day as you.

Are you still turning cartwheels, are you and Grenada raising hell up there, did you have some Graeter's caramel?

I'm sure you did! I love you so much, Mom. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Hope you're having a great day. Lots of gooey cake and Graeter's caramel ice cream!

I love you and miss you so much. I had a dream about you the other night and you were walking. God, I miss you!

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Chester's Pizza--Yum

Just ate some of the best pizza in the world--Chester's, a little hole in the wall in Hamilton, Ohio.

Finally wrote an article for
Indie Culture. That little site has been kind of abandoned by me the last few weeks. Heard an amazing track by Petra Hadan. She re-created The Who Sellout, entirely a cappella. Incredible!

Friday, March 11, 2005

Nick, TMI, Once Again

Nick, I don't want to hear all of your stupid details. Give me a break, already, would you?

Tyler's story was that the lesbos wanted "Uncle Paul" and "Aunt Dorothy." But, according to Nick, they wanted Nick and Sara. He then goes on to tell me the one chick had her hand down Sara's pants. I said, "What, did she like it?" He said, "Yeah, it was cool; but now I have to worry about guys and girls stealing her away from me...but at least I finally found a 'hot' girl."

OK, Nick, I don't need to hear this shit! I am your mother after all. Stop it! Then he says, "We have their phone numbers."

I love you Nick, but seriously, I don't need to hear the weird stuff you guys do, OK?

BTW, George Washington Apples ROCK!

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Fuck, Missed Amazing Race Last Night

Completely forgot about it. Thanks Nick, Candice and Jim. At least Jim "drove my drunk ass home."

Love ya and hope you had fun at Jacob's last night!

Note For Myself

Yah, I know nobody reads this shit, which is why I'm posting it. Before Danny Sullivan "outs" Googleguy, I just want to say, I've known the secret identity behind the masked man for three years. Remember Irvine, February 23, 2002, BT?

I'm not saying it couldn't be different people posting under that account, but look at the writing; for the most part, it is the same guy.

Send donations now to learn the secret. I'm easily bought!


Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Still don't have much to say!

Nick wanted to hang out tonight so I said meet me at O'Chux. Haven't talked to Rick much lately. Hung out with Rick and told him all about "Evil Google."

Nick showed up and we had a few beers, and a shot. He told Rick all about his exploits...being video taped while having sex, getting kicked out of AAA for having them tow his car from the race track too many times, removing another 36 pounds from his racing car and, mostly, stuff a mother doesn't want to hear. TMI Nick!

Then Candice and Jim show up. Holy shit! How much more do I have to drink to buy you guys a couple of rounds? At least Jim offered to drive me home! (Also, my car has been trying hard to gear up...needed somebody else to drive it.) My $20 night turned into a $60 night.

I love you all. I'm touched you guys want to hang out with me. It rocks to have kids not embarrassed by "we've got to drive her drunk ass home."

Love you guys!

Monday, March 07, 2005


Yup, that's all I have to say tonight!

Sunday, March 06, 2005

More Google Backlash

The new Google toolbar currently in beta, is really causing a lot of ruckus in the seo (search engine optimization) world.

The problem is a new feature called "autolink." What this bad puppy does is takes over our web pages with links that Google thinks are appropriate. In essence, web publishers have lost control of their content. We link to who we want to link to, not who Google thinks we should be linking to. Kids, this really sucks. Google is now becoming the evil empire, taking away the crown from Bill Gates and Microsoft.

What in the hell has happened to the previous sweetheart of search. They went public and now they are money-grabbing monsters! Fuck you Google.

Came across a great video tonight spoofing autolinks. A protest of sorts. Excellent find. Thanks threadwatch.org! See the video here:
http://www.betterbadnews.com/22. The whole point is to get people to sign the petition to let us publishers opt out of the evilness. So if you give a shit (and since nobody reads here, you probably don't), sign the petition. Please.

Went Back To The Scene Of The Crime

Paul and I had Mexican tonight (fourth time in two weeks). Got off my ass long enough to eat. Then we went to Rafferty's for the $1.00 Bud Lights. Great happy hour...it lasts everyday, all day. Appetizers half off and margaritas for $1.95. What a deal!

Came home and worked more on the gambling site; still need to get more content on that opening page. We just can't think of anything to write.

Just got some good news...Rachel is coming back! She scored a job with Comair. Good going girl!

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Penis Straw And George Washington Apples; Take Two

I'm back kids. Sheez, I couldn't do this last night or this morning or whenever in the hell it was I was trying to do this. I sat here with my brother Paul (and he was way bucked up too, by the way) and laughed...He was trying to play Texas Hold'em (Go Fish?) on the computer next to mine. I was trying to write and add his latest gambling instructions to our gambling site. I wasn't successful at all, and he kept losing, even with his killer poker hands. So now, I'm trying again after lots of sleep.

First thing I did was research to see if there is such a thing as a "George Washington Apple." Nope, I think a new drink was discovered last night. I believe it consists of Crowne Royal, Apple Pucker and, instead of the typical cranberry juice, cherry juice. Also, at Rafferty's they add amaretto, too.

Okay, enough talk about the stupid shot. Perhaps, it's time for me head over to AA, nah, having too much fun for now. I sure would like a chicken chimi right about now. Nah, too lazy to go get one. How about a Mexican restaurant that delivers?

So, I thought about getting a hotel room last night and we could move the party over there. Bev said no. Rick and Roxy considered it for a moment. Michael wasn't interested (I think). But Bridget said, "what's in it for me?" And, after much searching in my purse, I found it! The penis straw.

I think the straw was left over from Staci's bachelorette party from last May? It was kind of nasty with crud accumulated from months of living in my purse. I started doing interviews, using the straw as a microphone,
Johnny Jackson-Stone style. Johnny would have been so proud of me!

It began with, "So, Roxanne, could you please do a 'fuck-off' for us?" She yelled her infamous cry for everyone to hear. Then we passed the straw around for everyone to emulate her chant. Tons of fun. But, I couldn't stop there and started interviewing people...tried to get total strangers (or, perhaps it was one stranger) to talk into the straw. He said, "I'm not talking into that thing!"

We continued interviews until Bridget declared the bar was closed. So, I drove home.

Penis Straw And George Washington Apples

This is going to take awhile to explain what happened tonight. Rox and Rick are meeting me at Rafferty's somewhere between 7:30 & 8:00. About 8:05 I start thinking I should get my cell phone out of the car, but no, wait, here they come! Didn't get stood up.

Right off, Rox orders Washington Apples. They were yummy! Turns out later Bridget admits they didn't have cranberry juice in them (a required ingredient) but cherry juice instead. Somebody left cherry juice on the bar and she thought it was cranberry juice. So at first I named them Rafferty's Apples, but after thinking about it, how about "George Washington Apples?" Ya know, George Washington cut down the cherry tree?

I've gotta go to bed, I'll finish this tomorrow when I come to.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Lovin' Survivor

Did I ever tell you Thursday is my favorite day of the week? Think about it, the weekend is about to happen, the anticipation, the thoughts of sleeping, not having to go to the office. Thursdays ROCK!

On this Thursday night, I went to the O'Chux on Tylersville. Haven't seen Amy forever. It was cool catching up with her, and then, Pat walked in. Haven't seen him for so long. Way before Mom died. We had a few good moments. One of the better stories I've heard in a long time. Something like this: his Mom was on morphine before she died, they couldn't find veins so she had to take it orally. So, Pat and his siblings decided, for one night, they would ingest the morphine to see what it felt like. But of course, Hospice had already disposed of it.

Pat seemed bummed about it; but at the same time, it seemed like something my family would do. But we would have done it at the gay bar!!!

Anyway, Ian and Angie, I still think you RULE on that Survivor!

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Rox, What Are We Doing Friday Night?

Keep warning Bev that we may kidnap her. I had such a great time the last time we did this. Actually, I feel honored that you and Rick can include me on "Date Night."

I love you guys and I'm sorry you got suspended for a week. At least you still have a job. It just sucks it happened so soon after your injury.

Keep your chin up kiddo (biotch); your luck will turn around soon. And, remember, card anybody who looks young!

Can't wait for Friday!

Note To Bev

It's like this, dumb ass, don't click on the envelope; click on the "comments" link. (Probably says "0 Comments.")

Then click on "Post a Comment."

Then, there is a big-ass square on the right side (where you can put in your comment, duh it says something like "Post Your Comment"). R U following so far?

Then you put your comment in the big square. Remember, it's a big square! Put your little mouse cursor in there and type.

Below the big square are some option buttons, just pick anonymous or other, or something. Prolly anonymous is your best bet, then you click "Publish this Comment."

However, it would be sweet if you left your name at the end of the post--er, something like Bev, Dumbass or "I have sex 5-6 times a day." No, don't do that last one or I'll think it's Nick or Sara posting.

Goodnight, Bev, I took a Xanie when I got home. Hopefully, I don't sound like a rude bitch. Love ya.

Don't forget, we may kidnap you Friday night!

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Watching Amazing Race

Just curious about those media whores, Rob and Amber. I have nothing else to do!

Had a few with a co-worker tonight. Not mentioning names, becasue I don't want to become Dooce2, or MarkJen, or anybody else who has gotten fired for writing about work.

Anyway, it was a good conversation!

That's all for now, gotta check my other email accounts.