Ramblings and rants about the amusing, stupid things that happen to me in and around Cincinnati.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

It's My Birthday Week

Yeah, I'm getting older than fuck, but whatever. As someone told me tonight, "It's only a number." Yup, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

I also heard that when it's your birthday, you get to celebrate the week before and the week after. I can live with that.

Shit it's hot in here. The air conditioning is toast and there is no airflow. Damn, I can't wait to go to work tomorrow and either get air or, at least, air flow. Nah, I don't really want to go to work, but it's better than sitting here roasting.

We have another Roberts family slumber party weekend happening in a few days. And, I can't wait. It makes turning so ancient worthwhile.

Finally, some decent TV. Yay, Last Comic Standing and Rescue Me!

By the way, thanks Bev. That was very sweet of you...love ya.

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

"You Can't Be Both Catholic And Pro Abortion"

So read the sticker on the Tahoe in front of me this morning. Of course it was right next to the stupid "W 04" sticker.

Listen up you right wing W fucks, it's not "pro abortion", it's "pro choice." I just keep watching you idiots take away all of my rights, the very thing that made America a great place, until now.

As Neil Young sings, "Let's impeach the president."

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Nigerian 419 Scams

Just received another one, this time from Mrs. Suha Arafat (wife of Yasser Arafat). Are people really that stupid to respond to this crap?

From : Mrs Suha Arafat
Private email: suhaarafat@ameinfo.com

Dearest one ,

Good day to you as I want you to read this letter and understand me as your fellow being,if you are in my shoes,what will you do ?.Please understand me and assist me and all will be good at last,I assure you.This mail may not be surprising to you if you have been following current events in the international media with reference to the Middle East and Palestine in particular. Meanwhile ,your contact details got to me via my good research via internet directory.

I am Mrs.Suha Arafat, the wife of Yasser Arafat, the Palestinian leader who died couple of months ago in Paris- France. Since his death and even prior to the announcement, I have been thrown into a state of antagonism,confusion, humiliation, frustration and hopelessness by the present leadership of the Palestinian Liberation Organization and the new Prime Minister. I have even been subjected to physical and psychological torture. As a widow that is so traumatized, I have lost confidence with everybody in the country at the moment.

You must have heard over the media reports and the Internet on the discovery of some fund in my husband secret bank account and companies and the allegations of some huge sums of money deposited by my husband in my name of which I have refuses to disclose or give up to the corrupt Palestine Government. In fact the total sum legedly discovered by the Government so far is in the tune of about $1.5 Billion Dollars. And they are not relenting on their effort to make me poor for life. As you know, the Moslem community has no regards for woman,hence my desire for a foreign assistance. You can visit the BBC news broadcast below for better understanding of what I am talking


I have secretly deposited the sum of $10.5 Million dollars (Ten Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) with a security firm abroad whose name is withheld for now until we open communication. I shall be grateful if you could receive this fund into your bank account for safe keeping and any investment opportunity. This arrangement is known to you and my personal Attorney. He might be dealing with you directly for security reasons as the case may be.In view of the above, if you are willing to assist for our mutual benefits, we will have to negotiate on your Percentage share of the $10.5 million USD that will be kept in your possession for a while and invested in your name for my trust pending when my daughter, Zahwa, will come off age and take full responsibility of her Family inheritance.

Please note that this is a golden opportunity that comes once in life time and more so, if you are honest, I am going to entrust more funds in your care as this is one of the legacy we keep for our children.Incase you don't accept, please do not let me out to the security and international media as I am giving you this information in total trust and confidence. I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith.

Respond via any of my private email addresses herein for further briefs.

Yours sincerely,

Mrs.Suha Arafat
Private emails:

Friday, May 19, 2006

My Life Is Sucking At This Moment!

First of all, I think I just sobered up from a night of drunken debauchery with Roxy and Gary.

Now my boss calls and tells me that one of our web sites is about to get sued for trademark infringement if we don't remove part of our logo from the site. The problem? It's not just a freakin' logo, but is actual text that is in the heading of all 200 some pages. You see, I wasn't smart enough at the time to use css or something that makes life easier. No, I'm just a fuckin' moron without a clue and I'm paying for it now. Geez, I'm glad I can do css now, that site is getting so redesigned soon!

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Spontaneity Rocks

We survived cornhole. If you don't know what cornhole is, it is this: http://www.playcornhole.org/.

Then it was time to break out little plastic guitars and play Guitar Hero for Playstation 2. Here's a great Review of Guitar Hero.

This is a photo of Doug (on the right), before the accident.

And here is Doug after the accident. What accident? He blew out his knee playing Guitar Hero!

I suppose my brother will be in rehab with Carson Palmer soon.

(I realize these photos suck, but my stupid little camera doesn't do so well with the flash.)
We got home pretty late and I felt the need to do laundry. I was planning on a scooter ride with the gang to Rabbit Hash, KY. But then I pulled a dumb stunt of my own. Carrying my load of clothes down the stairs in the dark, I missed the last step and fell, HARD. I thought I broke my ankle and butt. I just sat there in horrible pain and hoped I didn't break anything. Here's another bad photo.

I really bruised two of my toes. The bruise runs on top of my foot and on my ankle. It does feel somewhat better now, but still hurts like hell.

I'm glad I didn't go on the ride. One of the guys was forced off the road by a truck pulling a boat and he flew 30 feet in the air over an embankment. He only broke a leg and has a huge gash. Then, another guy had a blowout. Sounds like a bad day to me.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

More Than A Memory

Remember that song, Nick? By the Submarines, er Smithereens? Actually, it was "Only A Memory."

I came home tonight to pick up my scooter and checked the muffler. It doesn't look good. The weld has completely broken and I'm afraid I'll drop the exhaust somewhere. I want to go on the ride to Rabbit Hash, Kentucky Sunday, but I don't want to ride it. Can I ride bitch with somebody? Please? Doc Bob?

Anyway, I went to Rafferty's to see Bev, and once again, she wasn't there. Damn Bev, I haven't seen you for three weeks and I have so much to tell you. I'm digressing again, WHATEVER!

I was looking for Rick and Rox's new house and passed by Fairfield North, the school Nick and Candice went to, a very long time ago. Fast forward. I started thinking about when Nick was in third grade and I tutored his class. I remember sitting in the hallway with Chester. Damn, what a cute kid and now he is an awesome drummer. Then I went past the old IGA. I had no money at the time, but I always managed to buy salads for Candice and me after the tutoring session.

Holy shit, those were the days. Way back before I started making some cash and giving it away to my friends.

I guess the real question is, how much longer will my company survive? I don't have a clue,
but wish me luck!

God I miss those bankrupt days!

Why Is This Clown Still In Office?



It turns out Shelley The Republican is a total fake. I was so hoping these people were really this ignorant. Here's the disclaimer somebody found:

For the legal text please refer to the Terms and Conditions
ShelleyTheRepublican.com is a satirical entertainment web site. The purpose of this website is to point out political and societal injustice by exaggerating the viewpoint of the party the injustice originates from. Basically it's save to say that almost all information in the articles on this web site are false. The web site is designed to be funny. If you don't find it funny, we kindly ask you to leave. We are committed to Freedom and Justice for all. Please let your friends know about this website. Thanks.

You are welcome to post your comments. The comments pages will be closed when more than 250 comments are posted, in order to keep to bandwidth usage down. We reserve the right to decline your comments for the following reasons:
  • Obscene expressions (f, c, n, s - word)
  • Racism
  • Extrem hatred
  • Threats
  • Comments that clearly do not refer to the original article
  • Comments not written in the English language

If you like to contribute an article, please send it to Shelley@ShelleyTheRepublican.com, we might publish it or not, we will inform you. If you have comments or suggetions you don't want to post on the website you can send us an email to the same address.

STR Liberal LOGO

Great link bait, eh?

The Only Thing Missing Was The Stripper!

Damn you, Tara. We had a great time last night. Would have been more fun if you were there. Although, it was pretty freakin' fun without you.

I still suck at that stupid bowling game. I guess Jim and Bill (Sara's dad) won at cornhole. I wanted to play, but got suckered into that dumb ass bowling thingy.

It's times like these that make me smile. Little moments that will forever be in my head. It rocks to live in Cincy right now. Awesome baseball, football, music and, of course, scooter scene. I'm loving life.

Oh, yeah, miss you mom!