Ramblings and rants about the amusing, stupid things that happen to me in and around Cincinnati.

Monday, May 30, 2005

Flonase Rocks!

Last time I was at the doctor's office, I asked about my allery headaches. She gave me a sample of Flonase. I have to say, this has helped me so much...haven't had a headache in days, plus, I think this is what could be getting rid of my stomach problems. Maybe? Something has changed the last few days. I'm lovin' it!

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Jenny, Your Daughters Are Great

Went to Jack and Jenny's for a cookout. Her daughters were there, and once again, I felt like I was surrounded by family. Nice family atmosphere. We ate tons of good food and had a great time.

Tomorrow, I'm supposed to go to Taste of Cincinnati with them. We'll see if I can get up early enough...just need to get to bed at a decent time besides 4 or 5 a.m.

The problem is when I have time off, for some reason, I like to stay up all night and watch movies and not sleep. I have to get out of this stupid habit because I end up sleeping the whole next day and feel guilty for not being out in the sun and doing yard work...

OK, I think I will try to go to bed now. Goodnight.

Another Saturday Night, But It's A Three Day Weekend

I slepted so late today; still recovering from last weekend. Nick popped into my room and he had apparently been here for awhile. Geez, I'm so tired. But, I don't have to work until Tuesday.

Nick said let's have a cookout. He ROCKS. He did everything...the cooking, getting the utensils, plates and even cleaned up everything!

Candice started talking about a game she had played called, "What The Fuck?" We called the Hustler store and they had four left. So, Candice and I went to the Hustler store and she found an obnoxious tshirt that says, "Fuck Me If You Love Jesus." The two clerks cracked up that she was buying that shirt and told us that a customer came in and turned the whole pile upside down. Why in the hell are Jesus freaks hanging out in the Hustler store? Did they want a vibrator, porno disc or lubricant? WTF?

I wanted to take a picture of her wearing that shirt in front of the big Jesus statue up the road. Unfortunately. she had to pee too bad and we had to make our way home. Yup, these guys want to climb the Jesus hands...just hope nobody gets arrested.

Anyway, we played the game and it was fun. What's better than hanging out with your family on a Saturday night? Nothing!

Friday, May 27, 2005

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

Shees, finally a three day weekend! I don't get many holidays where I work. The only guaranteed ones each year are Thanksgiving, Memorial Day and Labor Day (only because they are certain to be on the calendar Thursday, Monday and Monday.) My boss makes up reasons that if Christmas falls on a Sunday, then we get no time off. Supposedly we get floating holidays, but to actually take one of those floating holidays would mean me sitting in the shit house for, um, I don't know, a year or two?

Met Jack and Jenny for happy hour. They are such good people. I'm going to their house Sunday for dinner. First though, Jack is golfing with my Dad Sunday morning. I can't believe my Dad stole my friend. This sucks. Isn't anything sacred anymore? How can my Dad steal my friend? Doesn't matter, Jenny and I are going to start golfing and ruin their little outings. Plus, we will be fishing with them. Sorry boys, but not much more time alone.

Hey, we finally added the Blackjack Tutorial tonight. Great job Will for writing this.

Scholarships, Web Pages And Search Engines

Tonight, we handed out the Kathleen Collins Roberts Memorial Scholarship at Winton Woods High School. The lucky recipient was Amber Turner, an aspiring writer whom Mom would have loved to have in her class. We managed to raise $1,000.00 and hope we continue for future years. Mom would love that we are doing this for a young creative writer.

We need those former students to kick in and start contributing so this can flourish. So kick it up former Winton Woods and Greenhills students who appreciated my Mom as much as I did (and still do). Thanks Mom; I love you. And, thanks Doug (my brother) for handling all the details. You did a great job!

I told Jim tonight that I had hosed all of the interior pages on the gambling tutorial site. Well, guess what? I fixed it tonight. I found the boneheaded mistake; I had deleted a line in the headers where it calls the name of the template we used. The line to the .css file was still there, just not the other line naming the template.

Checked my log stats on the gaming site and my poor, neglected indie site. I am very pleased with the results showing up in Yahoo. Even a few competitive terms. Now if Google and MSN would catch up, I'd be quite happy. Google has started indexing some from indie culture for really absurd terms, like one with an accidental typo, but I seriously think Yahoo is way more on the ball these days with newer sites. Not so long ago, before the alleged "Google Sandbox" you could get Google showing results in a couple of days. Not as quick as the glory days of Infoseek (1997?) when results would show in hours.

I need to go to bed now. Woo hoo, a three day weekend coming up. Just need to get through tomorrow.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Danny Graves, Are You Really Hurt, Or Is This A Lame-Ass Excuse?

Hey Grave-Digger, if you really are hurt, I owe you an apology. On the other hand, if you were hurt and knew it, why didn't you get it checked out when you started sucking? If that's the case, perhaps, you owe us an apology. Geez, don't you and Sean Casey make us fans the scapegoats for dissing you. Buddy, you have sucked for quite awhile.

However, if that dude threw a racial slur at you, then I would have given him the finger too.

I'm not trying to be wishy-washy here, but some things just need an explanation.

By the way, good luck and I hope you get picked up by another team before your ten days are up.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

How Funny Is This?

Last night, I quickly saw the story on mymsn.com saying something like "Boo Hoo Graves Gone From The Reds." Trust me, that is not verbatim, but was what I remembered as far as key words go.

This afternoon, I was typing into the big three search engines, Google, Yahoo & MSN, "boo hoo danny graves." Just to find the article that tickled me so much last night and made me call everybody who gives a crap. Sure, I had it linked from here, but something made me do a search.

(By the way, this little exercise helps prove that Yahoo is the freshest engine out there, not Google anymore!)

Kids, try it: Yahoo. That ROCKS!

Yup, as of this moment, I'm number 1 and 9 as far as results go! Of course, this is subject to change.

Speaking of Google and how bad their results are out of date and they have never resolved the "hijacking" problem. Check out this result: Adsense. Google has claimed for the last year or so that there is no hijacking problem. But now, some dude from Kentucky has hijacked their adsense page. It's probably an innocent thing, but how stupid is it that somebody can hijack one of their pages when they swear nothing is wrong! For now, look at the number one result. They will probably manually edit the results soon while leaving all the other innocent webmasters out in the cold.

It's been a very interesting couple of days.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Danny Graves Fired!

Yeah, baby, the all-time loser, cry-baby for the Reds, was fired today.

I had been meaning all day to visit the local newspaper online to get the scoop of this idiot giving US fans the finger. Of course, I'm one of the crowd that is hoarse today from yelling, "YOU SUCK GRAVES" yesterday. However, I missed the finger flashing after he had given up an additional five runs in the ninth inning.

Around 5:30 this evening, I remembered I wanted to see what the scoop was. I typed in the url and at the same time saw this headline on My MSN: Boo-Hoo: Reds Get Rid Of Graves. How perfect is that headline? I immediately called Doug and listened to his wild laughter as I told him the news.

This is great news Red Fans, plus we actually beat Washington tonight. Perhaps getting rid of the bad apple might make a difference?

Not likely, but we can dream.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Nick's Sick Joke

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Not Fishing Tomorrow

Got my fishing license for tomorrow and found out Doug has the suite for the Cincinnati Reds vs. Cleveland Indians game. Oh, yeah, I'll do that any day!

Free food, free beer, excellent seats...I even get to take my fishing buddy with me.

Can't wait!

Friday, May 20, 2005

It's Friday Night!

Remember that yell from "The Sure Thing"? That's how I feel right now. I have all these great ideas floating around in my head, but can't seem to make them work! Oh, yeah, I "un-fucked" the problem I ran into last night on the gambling site: Gaming Instruction. But, I still need to figure out what I want to do with it!

By the way, Nicolette Sheridan (Desperate Housewives Edie) was "The Sure Thing."

Tomorrow, I am doing yard work and web site work and that's it! I bought an 18 pack of Bud Light and am set for this weekend. I'm not leaving the house until Sunday (if the weather is decent) and Jack and I are going fishing along the Little Miami River.

CINCINNATI, PLEASE HAVE A NICE DAY SUNDAY! I wan't to go fishing so bad!

But that also means, I'll have to leave the house to get a fishing license. Whatever, Wal-Mart here I come.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Haven't Written For A Couple Of Days

Tuesday, I had an extreme migraine and last night, my kids were here and had commanded full control of the computers. I got on long enough to check my email!

Anyway, I don't have much to report, other than, ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT HAS BEEN RENEWED!

Why aren't you watching???

Monday, May 16, 2005

Great News For Arrested Development Fans!

I had my calendar set for Thursday, May 19th when FOX is supposed to announce their lineup for next season. For some reason, maybe, the optimist (or pessimist) whatever, decided to take a peek today and see if there were any new developments on my favorite show. And, I can say, the best show EVER on television (yes, even better than Seinfeld) ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT HAS BEEN RENEWED!

I've said it before and will continue to say, The Bluth Family ROCKS!

So many issues to resolve:

Did George really pull off sticking Oscar in prison instead of himself because Oscar burned his fingerprints on the "cornballer"?
Is George now part of the Blue Man Group? Dissing Tobias?
Will Buster ever get his hand back from the "loose seal"?
Is Steve Holt G.O.B.'s son?
What happens with George Michael and Maebe's kiss?
Does the studio find out Maebe is a fake?
Will Kitty get the chance to flash her boobs again?
Do we get to see Franklin again? Or, is he permanently white and washed out.
Will George Michael ever get another kiss from Ann (Egg) when they're not at Marc Cherry's house protesting Desperate Housewives?
Are George Michael and Maebe biological cousins?
What about Lindsay, can we see more causes?

Long live Arrested Development!

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Thanks Arn And Nancy

Nice party tonight. Always a great time catching up with those I haven't seen in awhile.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Met A Kart Racer Tonight

I think we can have a very equitable partnership. He gave me a bunch of sites to check out. He runs a couple of web sites without a clue how to promote them.

This could be a great thing!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

On A Lighter Note

I heard on Bob and Tom yesterday, Tony Danza had a go-kart wreck involving Rusty Wallace. So, of course, I had to publish the AP news story on our go-kart racing site.

Finally, a REAL news story!

One of these days, we will be selling NASCAR merchandise and make some money. Geez, it costs me $25/year to run these stupid sites.

Judy, I Hope You Feel Better Now

Got an email from Mary, an ex-coworker from my old CPA firm telling me Judy (another coworker) had been admitted to Hospice yesterday...dying of lung cancer. This brings back too many memories of Mom dying.

Just got this email from Lynn (the previous tax manager) in South Carolina updating me:

Judy passed away around 4 pm this afternoon. How quickly that disease whipped thru her! Makes me appreciate my health and life and friends even more.
My response:

I am so sorry about all this. When I received that message from Mary saying she was in hospice, morphine...I knew it was a matter of hours.

That's how it went with my Mom. Saturday night-emergency room. Sunday morning-hospice and tons of morphine. She was still kind of aware a lot of the day, but went out of it around 6:00 p.m. I spent the night with her and she never came back out of it. One of the things she said on her morphine drip, "Man, this is the way to go." Monday-still never spoke and passed away early evening.

I am very, very sad. I really liked Judy a lot. RIP, Judy.

Yes, I am really sad. I'll always remember you lady, and your wicked laugh. Have a great time riding your Harley in sky!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Babysitting This Week

Had to check on Simon, Candice and Jim's big ole' fat Siamese for the second night in a row. I think he's the one that gave me that rash on my left arm. According to Candice, he loves to be combed and I overdid it last night. Plus, sat on the couch with my left arm on the armrest.

I love cats, but could I be allergic to a certain breed? Something's not right. My left arm is a mess! BTW, I miss you Lila...it hurts when I go into your room and your cage is still there.

Now, I'm hoping the Reds can win...the ninth inning, two outs, but still enough time for Danny Graves to screw it up.

And, I hope some team beats Rob and Amber on the finale of the Amazing Race! Do these two asswipes need another million?

Monday, May 09, 2005

Quick Joke

Heard this recently:

What do tuna and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both come on little white crackers.

(Thanks again Grammar Nazi.)

Sunday, May 08, 2005

What A Great, Completely Spontaneous Weekend With My Family

Not sure where to begin. We had planned on the Joe Jackson/Todd Rundgren concert, but the rest of it was completely improvised.

Friday evening, it began with dinner at Rock Bottom Brewery, one of my favorite places downtown. Doug, Dorothy, Paul and I had dinner along with a couple of brewskis. Then it was off to meet Mary at the theatre for the concert.

The concert was pretty good, but the string quartet, Ethel was my favorite. They did a few tunes, then Joe Jackson sang and played the baby grand. After his set, Todd Rundgren took the stage with his guitar and did his set. Then Ethel returned and they played along with Joe and Todd to the Beatles While My Guitar Gently Weeps." (Thanks, Lyric Nazi!) Nice way to end the show.

Then it was on to find more drinks, of course. Went to Nicholson's, a great place for quality draft beer and a huge selection of scotch.

It was time to go home. Stumbling toward where we were parked, Paul noticed Todd Rundgren walking past us in the opposite direction. Of course, we turned around and followed (stalked) him to a noodle joint. ("We're walking, we're walking, we're stalking, we're stalking....) Upon walking into the restaurant, we couldn't find him and assumed (for some stupid reason he went into the kitchen). Yes, us four drunks stood there loudly discussing where he went. There was a short wall right next to us and Paul looks over, and there he was. Paul's hero for the last 25-30 years! We shook hands and said "Good Show", etc. and left the poor guy alone.

Time for a shot. Dorothy says she'll buy a round of Washington Apples, so we go into another place. She orders our four shots and the bartender brazenly pours five...one for himself. Hmmm, whatever, dude, did somebody tell you we'd buy you a drink? Nope, didn't think so. Why didn't you take that extra shot and top off the ones that were being paid for? Maybe because you're a rude asshole? Dorothy holds out a $20 to pay for the four shots. He looks at her and says, "That's not enough, it is $36." "What?" we reply, "How much is a shot?" "Nine dollars each," he says. I dig $20 out of my purse and hand it to him.

Holy shit, $9 a shot? He goes to get our $4 change and stupidly leaves his FREE shot sitting on the bar. Dorothy looks at me, grabs it, downs it and innocently places the shot glass back on the bar. He comes back and notices the shot missing and yells at her, "Did you just reach across the bar and drink my shot?" She looks at him and yells in disbelief that he could accuse her of such an act, "NO! I wouldn't do that!" We run out like a bunch of scared teenagers as my idiot brother, Doug, flips off the bartender.

This time we actually went back to their place and I showed them the latest video from Johnny Jackson-Stone.

Doug and Dorothy had suite tickets to the Cincinnati Reds game Saturday afternoon. Paul and I were just going to hang out at their house and crash. Paul had plans to see the Psychodots at The Southgate House in Newport and I was supposed to go to a graduation party Saturday night.

Saturday morning, Doug comes running down the stairs screaming, "Hey, two people just cancelled, do you want to go to the Reds game? We have the suite? Free food and beer..." Hell yeah I want to go hang out in the suite. Last Wednesday was the first time I had been to the Great American Ballpark, on five dollar tickets! Sure, I'll go and be treated like royalty.

Had a great time, ate lots of great food...Montgomery Inn pulled pork sandwiches, chicken breasts, coleslaw, veggies, fruit, nachos, cookies, brownies and all the beer or wine you can drink. On top of that, the Reds stopped their 8 game losing streak.

On the way back to their house, I convinced Doug and Dorothy that we should go see Garbage at the Madison Theatre in Covington. Surprisingly, they were up for it. Doug has always had this hatred toward women rock singers, but it turns out, he loves Shirley Manson. I mean, who wouldn't?

We got to the show an hour early because we weren't sure if there would still be tickets. Not a problem, other than there was no where to sit in this venue. Then we saw it! A little spot at the end of the bar that was raised about a foot from the floor. We asked permission to stand there and nobody had an opinion. Are we the first to discover this gem of a spot? Up higher than the other concerts goers, a wall to lean on, a wall a couple of feet in front of you to help wedge yourself in and, perhaps the best, just turn around and the bartenders will get you a drink. Didn't even have to stand in line!

As expected, Garbage rocked; I have seen them three or four times before and have never been dissapointed. Here is their set list: intro / Queer / Bad Boyfriend / Supervixen / Stupid Girl / Sex is Not the Enemy / Hammering in my Head / Grow Up / Vow / Bleed Like Me / I Think I'm Paranoid / Push It / Only Happy When it Rains / Why Do You Love Me // Encore: Metal Heart / Cherry Lips / Right Between the Eyes

The concert was a little on the short side, but they hit everything I wanted to hear. Especially Vow; that song has lot of little moments in my life attached to it. And, as always, Shirley rocked!

That's it, the review of one of the best weekends I've had in quite sometime. It was the closest thing to a little vacation that I've experienced. Thanks guys, for making this a memorable one!

Thursday, May 05, 2005

I'm Tired And This Horny Cat Is Making Me Crazy!

Last night was too much for this old lady! Chez is in heat AGAIN and she's climbing all over me.

First off, Candice and Jim (mostly Candice since I have a video on my computer of Jim yelling, "Shut up damn bird") I'm sorry you lost Lila yesterday...I loved that sweet little bird, "Pretty Girl." If a couple of geese do a fly bye and scream, "Pretty Girl," I will know for sure that it's Mom and Grenada. Of course, I may be bringing on this whole geese thingy, but it's wishful thinking that perhaps she is sending me little messages.

Secondly, Happy Birthday and Happy Cinco De Mayo, Doug!

Thirdly, I guess I have to hang with all you crackheads again tomorrow night. My liver is not happy.

I Made It Home

Family night at the Reds game. They still suck (the Reds, not my family) but at least they got a couple of homers at the end. We got to see the smoke stacks send off some explosives with dirty air and hear some loud bangs.

Whatever! I finally hooked up with Rick & Roxy and took them to our killer seats. Bought 8 tickets for $5 each...no service charges and walked all around the place. We ended up right off the first baseline

After the game, we went to some little bar...had a couple of Washington Apples and more beer.

When the clock hit midnight, Jim sang, in a very sexy Marilyn Monroe voice, Happy Birthday To You, over the cell phone to Doug.

Happy Birthday Doug and (Cinco De Mayo) or whatever!

Very nice night!

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Family Night At The Cincinnati Reds Game Tomorrow

Is that how you spell tomorrow? Doesn't look right. Hopefully, spell checker can figure it out.

Anyway, tomorrow night, we are having family night at the Cincinnati Reds game against the St. Louis Cardinals. How bad can the Reds suck? I can't believe the way they are sucking it up right now. And, Danny Graves gets upset because they boo him? Get with the program dude, how many millions are you paid? How can you blow a six run lead in the ninth inning? Boo hoo, poor Danny! Danny Boy, GET A LIFE. Or, at least some degree of REALITY!

Whatever, it should be a rollicking good time...if, I don't stand too close to Paul yelling at the bullpin!

Monday, May 02, 2005

Bought A Pool Liner Tonight!

I was hoping to be out of this freakin' place this spring. But, nooooooo, no settlement until at least July!

Since I'm stuck here, paid $200+ for a freakin' liner. Oh well, if I'm stuck here, might as well enjoy the summer weekends. I've got a buttload of books to read. Might as well read them while laying on a raft, right?

That personifies summer for me. Be a lazy-ass and read while floating around on a raft.

One other thing, my stupid bra was driving me crazy today. Some dumn tag (or something) sticking me. So, I took the thing off and threw it away...I should have burned it! What liberation; to be able to work at a place, with a baggy sweat-shirt on, and nobody said something like, whoa, you're really sagging today. Honestly, I don't think anybody noticed. Must be these perky, almost 50, breasts.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

I'm Bored

But, at least I finally wrote that review of DiG!

That's all for now. Too bad tomorrow is Monday. That makes me very depressed.